Howling at Concrete Moon

Status Report

2008-07-02T12:10:15Z

Thanks to some extremely loyal friends all of my world possessions have been successfully relocated to my parents house and are all mostly organized and awaiting unpacking (with the exception of my travel gear). I am currently in VA and working. My schedule throughout July is Mon - Wed (in the office) / Thurs - Fri (telecommute) / Weekends (no work). My goal is to be in PA at least once a week for the next few weeks until I leave for the beach (7/25). I expect to go to PA on after work on Wed for the most part and return here daytime on Sat so I can spend some weekend time with Kat.

I will be in DC for the 4th and then settle into a regular schedule...still not sure where I will be this Sat/Sun as I am waiting on a few things to fall into place.

There is much more to say, but for now, thank you again to those who helped with the move.

I'm not dead yet...

2008-06-23T15:05:27Z

I have been virtually absent of late and felt that this would be a good time to reassert my existence on the interwebs, if only briefly; we all need to start somewhere.

First, an explanation of where I have been:

Most of my writing was done in spare moments at work. Those of you that I talk to on a regular basis know that those moments ceased to exist as my project got into full swing. Between running the project, resolving systems issues, and my normal duties, spare moments have run off. I haven’t actually logged onto a news site in months…it feels very strange. So yeah, my excuse for ignoring everything else in life has been work. In reality, I’m just a bad person.

What’s been going on:

I’ve been working a lot (as noted above) and getting ready to leave. It’s strange, but Cosi is one of the hardest parts about leaving. It’s an entire social circle that I don’t realistically expect to keep in contact with once I leave. It’s a job I’ve had for four years, longer than any other job I’ve ever held. I also really love the work. Somehow, I don’t think that it will send me spiraling into a deep depression, but it is very unsettling to me to know that I’m leaving and will not be coming back to it.

I’ve pretty much packed the apartment at this point and I have only to do some laundry and box up the things that I use on a daily basis. I feel that packing up all of my spoons would make eating cereal difficult and packing up all of my deodorant would make life for those around me even more unpleasant.

I’ve been trying to spend time with people as much as possible before I leave but it is proving difficult. Thankfully, there is still July. I’m thinking that I should have thrown a party at my place, but at the moment that would be…interesting at best as my living room is full of disassembled furniture and boxes. I am getting a bit nervous about the move. Once person down here is most likely going to have to bow out and I’m stressed about getting all done in the timeframe. Packing everything, driving, unpacking (down stairs) is looking like a tough time. On the upside, it has to get done, which means that it will. I will just be happier when it’s done.

That is all for now. I will try to post more often and to be in slightly better communication. For anyone in the DC area that I have not seen yet, I am moving on Friday, but I will be up and down throughout July if you have time. I don’t know where I will be on the fourth but I will try to be around in general.

My last night at Cosi is tomorrow, so come by for a beer and some S’mores if you get the change =)

Wind Storms

2007-12-07T00:04:29Z

Work is proving interesting. I think that it is largely under control, but I wonder how long I will be able to keep pace. I am reining in my new responsibilities in a moderately quick sense considering that I am also setting my normal responsiblities on auto-pilot at the same time. The test will be where I am come January. There are a few bench marks that I will hit at that time. That is also when my original responsibilities all flare up and demand attention due to a variety of annually repeating events. I am looking forward to this, sort of. I keep forgetting that whatever pace that I set will not be a sprint to be looked back upon proudly, but rather must be a steady stride with which I can balance my personal life. This seems to be good training to become an attorney, nonetheless, 8am - 7pm is not the ideal shift. For now, I assume that this week is unique due to vacation and dust settling... On that note, meetings are a strange convention. They must occur, they feel important, and they really just take up a lot of time that could be spent working. I have had several this week that were worth attending, and many that, if not involving various Vice Presidents, I would have left mumbling something about actually have a job to do. I treat those meetings like I treat the company Christmas party, fun distractions that are important for social advancement at work. Funny, in grade school, I imagined that one day it would be merit and quality that determined success, really, it's 70% work and 30% being well liked. Good thing I've got a strong grasp of the concepts of friendly (and somehow inoffensive) office sarcasm and a good shit-eating grin ; )

Personal Life updates:
- My sister-in-law is pregnant again. Due in July-ish.
- I am going to Seattle just after New Years (which will be spent in DC).
- Kat is doing well...I think, she is currently passed out on my bed because I threatened her with physical restraints if she wouldn't sleep for at least 10 minutes.
- Cosi continues to be my greatest release valve. The work isn't bad, I make money, and while I'm there, nothing else really matters.
- Hanukkah this year is strange. I have felt a wierd lack of religion (stability?) of late and have been acting out on this. i felt the compulsion to go out to get a menorah and candles and to say the prayers. I am not happy that this will be on hiatus until I return from Seattle.
- All else is mostly good. My main concerns (as always) are that I am not putting enough effort into seeing my friends in the area and that I am losing touch with people. This will need to be resolved, especially during my vacation...I took off the week of Christmas and will split it between DC and Lansdale pretty equally.

That should suffice for now, if you read this than you have my info, call anytime =)

Update

2007-09-27T13:08:27Z

I am trying to make sure that I post in LJ on a regular basis, but I have to admit that I have been struggling to make time to read and write here. And yes, we all know how much I struggle with reading and writing, and math, and science, and basically all intellectual pursuits. Part of the problem is that I am more concerned with reading what is posted than in posting my own stuff so if I get behind I basically read everyone’s posts to see how their lives are going and then run out of time J

So right now my big focus is on the coming Saturday. I am taking the LSAT and I am strangely looking forward to it. I am nervous, but also excited. I’ve spent so much time working towards this test that I’ve really come to enjoy the subject matter and my daily exercises. I’m actually fairly confident that I will feel a sense of loss when it’s over and I have to move on to the next hurdle for entry into law school; somewhat like you get after a really good movie or perhaps more like the feeling I get when I leave Cosi some nights. I’m tired and very happy to leave, but I still want to be out because I feel more awake and alive than I did beforehand. Then again, maybe it will be more like other nights at Cosi when I leave and can think about nothing other than getting back home to sleep. We shall see.

I also have an apology to anyone reading this in the DC area that I have not spoken to much of late. Basically, things have been hectic and when they haven’t been I’ve been hiding to get rest between the crazy. This will slow down as of this weekend. It won’t end, never does J, but it will slow down. Also, if anyone wants to join me, I think that I’m going to see Stephen Lynch at AU on Sunday with Dudley and Kat. It should be pretty funny. It’s at 9:30pm with $10 tickets. Once things calm down I should be able to get back to more of the hanging out and less of the hiding out J

Things with work are interesting. I seem to be more busy, but not at the same time. This past week or two has been a bit heavy, but I expect things to settle around Oct 10^th since some of the special projects will be moving and the day to day tends to be lightest mid month. Next up on the madness-o-matic, write a personal statement, put in for transcript, and then proceed to beg for letters of recommendation. I know one letter should be no problem, one is probably going to be fine, and the third…well I am relieved to know that the professor is still at AU, but I definitely have to take her out for drinks to make sure that she remembers who the hell I am before asking her to write this for me.

Guess that’s it for now. If anyone in the DC area, or otherwise, would like to see Stephen Lynch or just to catch up since I don’t think that I’ve seen anyone that reads this and is on this side of the Atlantic, socially in about a month, please give me a call on the cell. Wow, that sentence was clauses within clauses…I guess I really am ready to become a lawyer.

P.S. – Does anyone know of an LJ notifying software like Google has? That would be really useful.

Itemized Cognition

2007-09-11T04:28:33Z

I'm sitting in my parent's house as I write this and I know that I have stuff to write, just not sure what it is. Rather than making this look nice I think a list might be in order, if only for me to look back at later:

1. My grandmother, Janice Foxman, died sometime between 11pm 9/6 and 12am 9/7.
2. The funeral is at 2pm Tues (9/11), reception at 6pm at parents house. All are welcome, sorry for late notice.
3. I am home with my parents for the funeral. Have been here since Sat (9/8) and will stay for Rosh Hashana dinner.
4. We're only sitting Shiva for one day due to my brother's flight in and the high holidays. Yet, based on those of us involved, this seems somehow appropriate.
5. My allergies are vaguely under control, sort of, and making me miserable beyond all comprehension. Damn you Lansdale grass, damn you.
6. The past was on my mind before I started looking through old photos, and is even more so now. I feel that I've wandered pretty far abroad from my intended path. Can't just being growing up, if it was, people wouldn't bother.
7. Bought new boots finally and am very happy about these. They have zippers, but hurt to break in.
8. Have not studied for LSATs in days, can't work with my allergies like this.
9. Enjoying the vacation, even if it is bereveavment leave, though I can't wait to get out of my parents house and away from the god damned allergies.
10. Parents seem to be recovering well from car accident, though my mother definitely has some psychological left overs that will be some time in resolving.

Other things are still on my mind and in my head but they won't come out so I will leave it at a nice round ten for now.

Labor Day Weekend

2007-09-03T21:10:36Z

This has been a much needed relaxing weekend.

Nowhere to go, nothing in particular to do...bliss. While I should have studied more than I have this weekend, it has really been fantastic. I have been pushing pretty hard lately and this has really been great. I'm also pretty excited that I have some serious time to cook today which means that I am able to try out a recipe for braised pork shanks. While I wasn't able to find the right cut of meat, I'm pretty confident that hocks should do the job and it smells awesome right now :)

My allergies have been giving me some trouble of late so I am trying the nasal spray again, though I'm still a bit wary of it. The last few times that I used it seemed to result in sinus infections, but for the moment there have been no adverse affects. All of this free time has reminded me that I've let most of my hobbies fall by the wayside due to a lack of time, but still, this has been utterly relaxing. I'm also really looking forward to the prospect of going back to school next year as those that I know that are now in grad programs seem to really be happy about it. It does seem intimidating, but in a very positive way and I miss the intellectual stimulation. When left to my own devices I do not tend to put together enough motivation to really keep my studies going, but I think that I'll be okay when I hit lawschool. I'm also noticing that my LSAT studies have really started to take hold. When I talk to people or read their work I am getting more and more proficient at seeing the patterns and knowing where to go next. I've never been an athelete but for me, logic and argument have always been like exercise. Runners get a "runners-high" and I find that I get something that I assume to be similar when in the midst of logical and analyic thinking. I become more awake, more aware, and my mind goes from a lump of gray matter to something much more active that has a very satisfying feeling to it.

All in all, I feel pretty good at the moment. I hope that my allergies remain at bay and that my motivation holds out as I am really excited about the LSATs and these are my two major obstacles that must be kept in sight at all times. I am also more sure with each passing day that want to be a stunt driver :)

Dependency Issues

2007-08-23T12:53:35Z

My cable (and internet) were under an old roommate’s name and we had been paying the bills, but decided that it was time to cancel and restart to get one of their shiny new deals that Comcast only gives to new people.

What does this say about their customer care? “So, you’ve been a loyal customer for the past 5 years ya say? Well, then please bend over as I’m a little short on cash”…On the other hand, “I’ve never met you before, can I be your friend?” Anyway, this has led to an interesting discovery.

I knew that I used the internet a lot, but it didn’t occur to me just how necessary it was for my general functioning. For instance, and this was the moment I realized it, I pay my rent online. Let me make this clear, I cannot pay rent without access to the internet. My building does have a little room with free internet access and computer, but I don’t really like the idea of logging in and putting my bank information into a public machine. Maybe I’m a bit paranoid, but it just doesn’t sit well with me. My building will accept up to one hand check per apartment, but this is either a giant hassle for the many people living in one place, or you go online. I’ve come to actually like this, the same with service requests, they must be submitted online. If you need something fixed (non-emergency) and you go to the front desk they either write a post-it, which is summarily lost, or they put in an online request.

After this little realization, it occurred to me how much I use the internet as a support tool for life in general. I don’t spend a lot of time there. I post on the journal and check my email, but I don’t spend a lot of time looking around because I don’t tend to have the time. But I realized that without the internet, I wouldn’t pay my bills, know what was happening with the people I care about, or have any idea how to get from point A to point B…

Thank God for office jobs and their free, if occasionally limited, internet…

Silver Lining

2007-08-21T20:54:40Z

So, I had an awesome weekend with my family; however, the result was that I was destroyed by the time I got back to DC on Sunday night. I passed the limit of my energy reserves on Saturday and by the time I got to DC my was well past the point of no return for reaching critical mass. I was tired/allergic enough that I ended up sick.

The upside to this was that I got a day off of work on my birthday and slept basically all day before getting taken out to dinner by my usual Monday night dinner crowd. All in all, it was an excellent birthday and I am mostly recovered at this point J

Time Killer

2007-08-16T15:22:35Z

It’s strange. I work a fair amount, but it doesn’t seem like a lot anymore, now it’s just routine. The only time I think about it is when I am not busy. Either I am in very nasty place in my life or too used to being busy. When I’m alone sometimes I just feel like I’m killing time.

I think that its conditioning from school. When you’re a kid its about going from one break to the next and one report card to the next. Then it’s about working towards college. Then it’s about your degree…then…

The problem stems from what I do for a living. I like my job so I can get wrapped up in it, but it is basically meaningless to me. Same deal with my life in general. I get wrapped up in it, but it has no greater significance, it’s not moving towards anything as I am used to doing. So I spend time with people which has meaning for me, but otherwise, I seem to killing time without purpose. It’s very disorienting. Working towards law school helps, and I think that once my apps are in things will be a bit easier. Then I won’t feel like I need to use my time since I will be waiting for the next step. It’s when there are things that I can do to move forward and I am not solely focused on them that I feel like I’m killing time. Shouldn’t I be able to relax without feeling like it was a bad idea or a waste? I worry about this sometimes and about the idea that it may be a by-product of an ambition driven society; therefore affecting many, and that it is not just a personal failing that I can overcome.

The other worry with it being a societal by-product is that there is no end to it. If you chose to function in the society you are stuck with it, if you withdrawal you harm those that care for you. I think that I understand what Kafka was saying in The Trial now in a way that I could not before because when I read it I had not yet become part of the society that I needed to identify with in his work. While I don’t think that things are as bleak as the mood of his works would indicate, I do wander about psychological tension required for human beings to function at peak performance via a “continuous suspension” of one’s case, so to speak.

Musical Marionette

2007-08-09T18:15:20Z

Just a brief thought. I am seriously a product of my music. Many people listen to music because it fits their mood. While I do this, I think that I more often fit to the mood of my music. I was working on something when I suddenly felt some sort of strange longing as if something was missing. This was mixed with a feeling of sad happiness...At this point I noticed that my internet radio was playing FInd You Gone by Wolfsheim.... =)

News Media

2007-08-09T18:11:26Z

Right, recent news has caused a bit of disturbance for me on two counts. First, the subject of internet communities promoting eating disorders and acting as support groups for people that are having trouble starving themselves to death. Let me be clear, these groups are providing their members with emotional support to help them NOT eat. But the background on this has been better laid out and cited by others better than I, for instance: thevelvetsun</div>

Talk about decadence, I thought that hunger was supposed to be the social problem, not too much food or a desire not to eat. I will admit straight out that I am selfish. I want the place I live to have the highest quality of life available, meaning that I want it to be higher than that of others in the world. The same goes for my security, economy, etc. That said, the disparity is still frightening sometimes. While physical and mental disorders occur in both highly developed and highly underdeveloped countries, the idea an

The other thing that disturbs me about this is something I noticed about news publications. I saw this issue getting picked up by some large newspapers and when I logged into LJ, I noticed that the commentary and action was in full swing, and had been…It is weird to see news/coverage in reverse, particularly when you know some of the people doing the commenting. Particularly interesting to me was that I noticed some bloggers that were not the ones taking action themselves responded well before the media picked it up. Keep in mind that “well before” is relative on the internet and therefore was the space of a few hours at most. Still, it’s interesting to watch as the way news media changes. With more and more of us sitting here and writing (some even saying something useful…read: not me =P) it continues to be an interesting factor in the dissemination of information and probably causes some serious headaches for traditional sources of print media, even thought they are all already on the moving and adapting.

Aftermath

2007-08-08T20:41:28Z

I had a critique of certain socio-economic issues facing us today that were on my mind. Then I was tempted to write a quick opinion piece on Nashi (Russia pro-Putin youth group). A little more than halfway through each I decided…I’m sleepy and my head hurts a little…

It must be Wednesday, I never could get the hang of Wednesdays.

Music and Meditation

2007-08-07T19:13:02Z

I’ve come across a number of self-guided meditation techniques that suggest finding your “happy place” in some form or another. For me, this memory is generally one of Shampoo at an earlier time when:

“As I walk across the parking lot I can hear the music coming from the club and I pick up my pace just a little. Now I’m inside the club buying my ticket and getting my hand stamped. I am having trouble waiting for my change or for Tiny (the 300 lb dude stamping my hand) to finish so that I can go upstairs. As I move up the stairs to the main floor where I can hear one of my favorite songs playing, everything slows down…step…the music is now pulsing in and around me…step…the light is left behind for a moment and darkness washes over me allowing me to relax for the first time since the last time I was here…step…smoke rolls over me, helping to give me a feeling of distance and peace from the chaos only moments away…step…now I can feel my bones beating in time to the music as the vibration carries me…step…strobes flash everywhere and for a brief moment the night is burnt away by dawn for one dizzying instant. In that instant I see faces, some familiar, others new…step…at the top of the stairs I feel completely calm in spite of (and partially because of) the chaos of light, sound, and smoke. The people moving around me are close enough to provide comfort, but the music and darkness makes them far enough away for solitude and peace. I stop to take it all in, and I breathe out…I am home…”

It’s not wonder, but that’s the first word that come to mind. Yeah, I don’t really get that as much anymore. It’s partially because I’m older, a little more tired when I get there, a whole variety of reasons. But it is still a fond memory and a useful meditation technique. The problem is that it tends to provide a feeling of energy rather than a feeling of calm. A serene energy, but energetic nonetheless. It’s funny, because the place still exists, but the time (read: circumstances) are different.

Music seems to have a really strong influence on my emotional and mental state, more than with most people I know. It’s strange to me that other people don’t react to it in the same way. To me it’s almost like hearing someone say that when pushed they don’t feel pressure or a directional force.

Corporate Horr

2007-08-03T14:55:05Z

I was talking to Emily (one of my servers) today and she told me a horror story regarding the bar last night. The AC was out, and when I say out, I mean all the way. Usually, it’s weak and we get a little warm. I move a lot so I sweat anyway, but from what she said, this is the way it was a long time ago at the other Cosi. The inside was like a sauna and on a day when it’s 100 degrees outside this is worrisome. Potentially worse however was the lack of computers; all of the POS registers were down along with the internet and now one was coming out to fix them during the shift. This means hand written tickets and calculating the tax manually.

At a restaurant that operates without a POS the register thing is doable; however, Cosi is so reliant on it that they had to go to CVS to pickup order pads and servers were using their cell phones to figure out tip. God only knows what life was like for Vicki as she tried to pull this off on register and make drinks. I can only assume that with the AC out EVERYONE wanted To Go which only compounds the trouble.

I am seriously dreading work because, while I assume that that the register system is back up, I doubt that the AC is any better. Also, when something like this happens, the registers tend not to stay up for long. My GM has her hands tied regarding money to fix the AC properly and I can only imagine the issues with the POS. But if corporate wants to make any money they need to let go of the bloody purse strings sometimes and say “get it fixed ASAP.” This is especially true in the kind of location that we have with very high maintenance customers. We are one of the highest profit stores in the region, but because Cosi contracts out all repairs (without much price negotiation from what I understand) they are extremely reluctant to fix anything or to pay for the little things like, oh I don’t know…working coffee grinders? This has been getting worse and worse but now it is simply ridiculous.

I feel like any place I work deteriorates like this over time as I stay there. I don’t know if this is a general view of things that occurs as you get used to a place or just bad luck, but all I can think is May God have mercy on any firm that I join after law school.

All Clear

2007-08-02T04:41:47Z

Sonja, Bridget...If you are reading this then feel free to look around. This entry means that the journal is clean of all potential spoilers, plot ideas, and sneaky sneaky things :)

Sorry for the confusion before, but something was tugging at me saying "Hey, you wrote this without a mental filter to include your potential players!" and so I knew that I had to review it first. Feel free to read what little there is and enjoy.

Anyone else, if I post anything game related here it will only be visible to the Lansdale folks. If anyone else wants access to it let me know and I will adjust. I would definitely love suggestions and when the time starts, general commentary, but only in forums that the players can't read.

I am no good with titles

2007-08-01T20:51:05Z

Thought of the Day: “It is very confusing when you eat asparagus in something that has it sneakily concealed because you don’t find out until later when you pee…”

Wow, suddenly life got busy again for a minute. I’ve been meaning to post about the past weekend since Monday but things in the office have been pretty hectic so actual work had to been done. It’s like they think of me as an employee or something. My receptionist’s last day was yesterday and this meant a whole load of things get redistributed to the people that she was doing them for, myself included. Combine that with my usual 1^st of the month shit storm and a priority one meeting with the VP about a potential claim and you have the makings for an interesting few days. Did I mention the new employee that just transferred to this division? Yeah, been putting in time with him as well to help smooth the orientation and get a few things done that we have been holding off on until he and I could talk face to face. The orientation wasn’t really my job, but I know my office well and its one of those things that we are not always up on so I wanted to make sure that he had someone to ask when he had questions.

But yeah, this last weekend was excellent. Mike’s wedding was a really good chance to get to see everyone and have us all in one place where most of us only had not responsibilities except show up on time and have fun. It’s rare, but really good to get a chance to see Goat and Kamin. I had no idea that Mike was thinking of moving back to Seattle, but I imagine that he will go where the work takes him.

Getting back also wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was getting a bit tired by 2:15am, but at about 2:45 I got a second wind. It was as if drinking water kicked some of the Monster that I thought had worn off, back into gear. By the time I walked into my apartment (3:30am) I was ready to go back out and have fun. I had to try pretty hard to fall asleep so that I could get into the office the next day. This leads me to the belief that my vacations should be replaced by a very specific combination of beer, gin, Monster, and long driving.

The LSAT studying is still going well, my one concern is that I want more practice than the current book is giving to me. This is partially because that helps me a lot, and partially because I really enjoy the games. The extra tests that I picked up are good, but they don’t have the detailed explanations of the book so once those are used up it will just be me and the test. I also worry a bit about how much time is left to study and practice before the exam. There is a lot of time, but not a lot of free time…still it will get done. I will have to push pretty hard to switch gears to my personal statement right after. This thing is a bit more of a monster than I realized. I also need to start firming up my letters of recommendation and to get AU to send my transcripts. I am not really worried about my performance, but the things that I have to rely on others for makes me nervous. AU bureaucracy like any other machine could take longer than expected to get the transcript out, but more scary are the letters. I need to know what to tell people is required before we talk and this takes research I don’t have time for yet. And once I request the letters, I can’t really rush them because I need to not piss off the people that I am coming to for recommendations.

Still, it will be as it must, I just need to keep moving and not worry so much.

For now, back to work and my quote of the day:

“But YouTube, said it did not employ anyone to police what is posted. The site, which is owned by Google, claims pre-screening content is a form of censorship which is not the role of a private company.”

- BBC News Web child fight videos criticized posted 7/29/07

- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6920817.stm

So, it’s not the job of private firms to police themselves, though some hire security guards as a matter of preference. While I don’t see it coming any time soon, are comments like this the precursor to a tax placed on sharing sites? Can you tax sites outside of you country? Can you block sites from outside of your taxable influence? Just a thought as the internet continues to be a potential source of economic and social evolution through forced integration.

And The Distractions Keep Rollin’

2007-07-26T13:29:21Z

So I read for about 7 hours straight on Sunday because I wanted to finish the book I was reading. I’m pretty sure that this confused my roommate because he would pop in every once in awhile to see if I wanted to join him and the girlfriend for food, or going out, and then just to check and see “what’s the good word.” I felt kinda bad about it because I think that he has been making an effort to hangout lately but I have been running about like a madman. The reason that I mention the book is that there were two reasons for this. The first, more normal reason, was that I wanted to finish it because I was enjoying it and wanted some resolution (which didn’t occur). The second reason was to remove the last major distraction from my studying for the LSATs. I found that the only thing that stopped me from doing work was reading for the most part. This cost me a number of lunches and evenings that I could have been reading or practicing for the test. I’m not saying that relaxing isn’t good, but I’ve put a really good dent in the TV habit so I had to finish the book and move on.

Now, just when I think I’m in the clear and will avoid a lot of distractions I see great danger on the horizon. With the departures of Justin and Lisa my usual gaming crew for DC is down to me and 2 others. This coupled with the fact that they are moving is not a happy prospect. I am happy for both and Justin will only be 3 hours away, but I have most definitely learned enough by now to fear the effects of such distances on friendships and the ability to keep in touch despite the best of intentions. I am hopeful but I will still miss their company. As I told Lisa, she is crazy beyond imaging and sometimes frustrates and I will sincerely miss both of those qualities among a number of others when she is in Berkley.

The new distraction and the original reason for this post: I think that I may be running game in the near future. More importantly, my mind has started to move towards this idea at just the right/wrong time. Sonja and Bridget both want to continue gaming and think that they may have some good candidates for more players. Since I have just finished with the books that I was reading my brain is still in story mode. And due to my natural propensity for procrastination my mind sees work and runs to the nearest distract…planning game.

I’m thinking that if I run game it will be in a couple of months, after the LSATs and maybe after my apps are in, but I probably can’t wait that long for a variety of reasons. I’m thinking of running new Wolf. I love Werewolf, but I am not going to be satisfied with most things that I run from 2^nd edition. For one, the world is a world that I knew and loved through the eyes of an adolescent and which has been hard pressed to maintain the same luster as I grow and mature. Second, I find that there is too much cannon for me to be able to bring in new players. I get too caught up in the details which are not relevant to my story or my players and this causes slow down and deficiencies in other places. I also find that I have grown accustomed to 3^rd edition rules, don’t know if that’s good or not, but at this point, I can gauge them better and that will mean a lot in game creation and mechanics. Also, new Wolf has a fresh feel and I think that it will provide some interesting opportunities. I find it funny that WW seems to be putting out books to match the cadence of my life. 2^nd Ed. Wolf was strong when I was the right age, and now that I am getting old enough for it to be problematic, they provide something new. I will have trouble letting go, but I am looking forward to the new possibilities.

All this to say, when I do run game, I plan on posting here in poor imitation of what Justin did with Orpheus. I don’t know if I will try hijack his TV theme, but I may. The reason that I will post is to keep my thoughts on target, but also because the people that I know on LJ are mostly my gamer friends from one place or another, so I will definitely be looking for input. That said, I am getting some ideas for a 1 -2 shot to test out if the players like Wolf and as a potential lead into the larger game. Any suggestions are certain welcome and at this point, solicited.

Game won’t happen for a while, but I am slow at story crafting so that may be for the best.

Dreams

2007-07-13T20:57:48Z

To dream can be a scary thing. Not the dreams we have when we are younger, the things that are not entirely serious or are too far off. The aspirations that are achievable are wonderful and terrible things. If we dream to big at once then we make things easier for ourselves by imagining the unobtainable.

It's when you decide you want something that is concrete and visible that things become more interesting. I still don't know if it's scary or just exciting, either way...this is definitely getting interesting.

Accomodations

2007-06-27T21:03:37Z

So Brian and I were speaking about Mike's wedding and discussing places to stay. We got it down to the following:

The hostel south of the city ($22/person/night); or,
Comfort Inn north of the city(I think mid 60's/room/night)

I vote Comfort Inn, while I do like the price and dorm style setup of the Hostel the down side are that it's a per person rate and that it is on the other side of the city from the Wedding/reception. The wedding is in "North" Park and the Hostel is south of the city. Whereas the comfort in with 2 or more to a room isn't much more than the hostel and is about 5 - 15minutes from teh location of said wedding.

Bob, Sarah, Brian, Sandi....thoughts? Mike, care to weigh in? Rick, where are you staying?

A brief commentary

2007-06-22T12:50:35Z

It's not generally my style to use an outlet like this to start commenting on current affairs issues, but I was reading the news this morning and find that I am more and more disturbed by certain trends. I read an article in the International Herald Tribune and really felt that I wanted to discuss it with someone or at least voice an opinion on the matter.

The article, published 6/21, was regarding the current tension in Britain surrounding muslim women in full veil (head to toe, called the niqab. It was explaining that, while a very small minority, more women have been wearing the niqab and have been receiving quite a hard time about it. The article references journalists calling the full veil "directly offensive" and instances of students and teachers be sent home from school because they were wearing the veil. It also talks about experiences that individuals have had of people on the street making demeaning or just mean comments.

While I do understand that Islam has taken on a high profile and that people say and do things they shouldn't with or without thinking, I am a bit disturbed when I read "A student who was barred from wearing a niqab took her case to the courts, and lost. In fact, the British education authorities are proposing a ban on the niqab in schools altogether." When the law begins to make changes to accomodate this kind of prejudice and small mindedness I become trully afraid.

While it is not part of my faith or belief structure, I see no reason that someone should not be allowed to were this garment. Jews are allowed to wear a kipah, christians are allowed the crucifix, and for the most part, religious and secular groups in general wear what they chose for the reasons that they choose. As long as the choice is not an expression of profanity what right does a court system have to ban it? Islam is like any other religion or group of people; it is made up of a variety of individuals, some are violent, some peaceful, some fanatics, some who provide only lipservice and plenty in between. Yes, it is more high profile right now; yes, the head to toe veil is noticable and for some it is associated with ideas that they find demeaning to women. But it is a choice to wear it, and I am sure that there are many people that do not see it as demeaning, but rather as a symbol of their faith and solidarity.

Perhaps I don't understand the full social implacations. Perhaps while following the news, this particular article caught me at the wrong time on the wrong day. Perhaps I have no business commenting as I am not British nor am I Muslim. Nonetheless, it worries me as I see more and more of what looks like people reacting with fear and isolating others that mean them no harm. Making enemies out of friends will never harm those that were your enemies to begin with. Bridges are not built with walls and right now especially, further isolation of devote Muslims in western communities will only cause trouble and give ammunition to those that hate us.

Right, sorry for that. I will try to keep the soap box to myself as much as possibe.

Windy

2007-06-06T20:38:50Z

Things seem to keep themselves on the extremes. I'm either extremely busy, extremely bored, or both (somehow?). Work went and got sort of crazy while I wasn't looking. Still definitely things that I can handle, but more hectic with more happening in my days. I think that in a week or so it will wind down again. I'm starting to get the hang of the work tides. Busy is good, but this is still not the right place for me and I am looking forward to law. I feel like, without more school, there is nothing interesting or outside the realm of being someone's coffee monkey that I qualify for on paper. I say on paper because I know that I can do, or quickly learn to do things that I would like, but without documents showing someone that I'm not a moron who's likely to set the building on fire by accident I won't be able to find a job I like...damn, when I set a building on fire it will not be an accident!!! or somethng like that anyway.

Private life has been mostly non-existent. I spent the weekend's at Kat's parent's place and when you factor in working and occasionally doing my laundry during the week there isn't a lot left. The Wednesday crew is starting up with Scion this coming week and I think that it's just what I need. I still feel bad that I couldn't learn it fast enough to run the game and let Justin have some time off, but it's a different enough rule set to seriously throw me, and I would still like to be only slightly (rather than woefully) unprepared for the LSATs come September. I am very excited about the game though, it's about as close to the aspects of Wolf that I enjoy that this particular group gets. I started out with a really bland character without any real personality, but I think he finally grew into something and it's starting to take shape in my head nicely.

I am still frustrated at a lack of ability to commit to some of the things that I want to do. My apartment is relatively clean which is a step in the right direction (keeping it that way with Spencer and occasionally Kat can be tough at times), but that is still a commitment to others, not myself. It's the going to the gym and spending more time studying that I am having trouble with. There are plenty of excuses, but they are all excuses. 30 - 60 minutes less of sleep a night wouldn't kill me, and TV most certainly a time/mind killer. I find that I have a frightening force of will and stamina when it comes to duty to others, but none whatsoever in regards to me. Very very weird. Probably means that I need a job as butler, personal assistant, or as that second in command guy that is actually the de facto leader, just not the guy in charge, I seem to not be wired for it.

The reason for the title by the way is two fold. One, it's been windy out and I really enjoy that; whether walking or driving (preferably driving with the windows downs in medium traffic in the evening when its in the 60's or 70's...this is the quickest way that I've found to tranquility). Also because I feel like work and things have been tumultuous of late. I enjoy it, but it is tiring as well. I need some serious vacation. :)

Mike’s Wedding

2007-05-22T18:53:09Z

This is a quick note to anyone on LJ going to Mike’s wedding, this does include you Mike as your input might help. The wedding is on Sunday, are people planning to stay until Monday or leaving Sunday night? I wanted to book the hotel, but figured I should figure out where people were choosing to stay and for how long. I was planning on the less expensive of the two hotels on the website.

Progress

2007-05-22T18:51:41Z

Life is strange sometimes. Okay, life is pretty much always strange, otherwise we’d all be very bored all of the time rather than just 40 hours a week.

I am in the strange place in between being really motivated and being calm. I’m excited about the LSATs, but I haven’t studied all that much just yet. I’m not seriously worried about them, though if I let Steve talk to me about it much more then I will be. I also want to start getting in better shape. I wish that I could say that it’s due to a desire to be healthier, but I know myself better than that. While I do like feeling less run down and exercise does make me feel better overall, it’s also a matter of vanity.

Thing is, I enjoy life a little too much. Not in the, getting blind stinking drunk and crash sort of way, more in the sit back and relax sort of way. Still, I know that there is a happy medium somewhere in there. Thing is, the motivation keeps me from being contented in relaxing, perhaps ambition is a better word than motivation. I do wonder though, at what point do ambition and achievement meet so that one can relax and aim for contentment. Some people will tell me that it’s a matter of removing ambition. I’m sure others will say that to do so is to go against my own nature and can never breed contentment; they would imply that contentment is found through vocational acceleration and progress and generally through work. Personally, I think that both are idealists; nice thoughts, neither is terribly doable. I see it like anything else, both ambition and relaxation must be managed, never allowed to get too far ahead of one another. This will create tension for the progress period of my life when I want to relax, but it will hopefully allow for some point at which I can look at where I am and what I have and say that I am satisfied. I don’t think that many people do this, their motivation acts like a goldfish (adjusting to the tank size) and they play the game of “how much is enough” never getting to the last point.

On a totally unrelated and much less thought provoking note, I am rather annoyed with my foot. I’ve only ever broken one bone (my right foot) and it was a pretty mild stress fracture as I recall. This was year’s ago. Well, somehow I pissed it off and it’s started to hurt again in the same place as if threatening to cause another stress fracture. I doubt that it will, but for now it’s rather inconvenient as I have this habit of walking that I just can’t get over. Bah, stupid physical limitation.

A Day in the Life

2007-05-16T20:50:40Z

Things have been fairly quiet since my last post. I spent the weekend at my parents in honor of Mother’s Day. As I’ve said so very often, my mother converted to a very special religion around the time Adam and I started getting old enough to go away on our own for long periods of time like college and work. While there is no actual name for it, I like to refer to the religion as “Come-the-fuck-home-ism.” As you may have guessed, the major themes of the religion revolve around getting the entirely family in one place as often as humanly possible. While it has no holidays of it’s own, this religion does due it’s best to incorporate the holidays that the faithful observed prior to their conversion. Since my mom was Christian and is now Jewish, this means that we hit all of the secular holidays and those of two religions. I’m waiting for her to branch out which will result in conversations such as:

Mom: So when are you coming home for Ramadan this year?

Me: We’re not Muslims.

Mom: That’s beside the point, we need to spend time together as a family and it’s a holiday that we need to remember and respect.

Me: Mom, it’s sort of a month long.

Mom: Yes, I know; you had better start asking off of work early.”

While visiting I didn’t get to talk to Brian & Sandi about Mike’s wedding; however, this is largely my own fault for inspiring Rick to get them to go to Atlantic City and then helping to manipulate and convince everyone into it without actually going myself. I do hope that someone won some money. All in all, it was a good weekend.

Kat got offered the new job so in a matter of weeks she will be calmer and less dangerous with sharp objects, hopefully. I’m working on a story idea for Wolf; unfortunately, my players here don’t due Wolf and the gamers at home are hours away (not to mention the fact that Brian and Sandi are soon to be far away). So this will probably have to sit for awhile, but that gives me a lot of time to put together something a bit more in depth. Truth be told, the idea of story-telling for Rick, Brian, and Bob is definitely a bit intimidating since I know the level of games we usually play and story-telling is where I lack the experience. Still, I think this plot would work and odds are, we won’t actually get there. So, for now, it’s something to occupy my thoughts while on I-95.

Looking forward now I have to just start getting myself together. I’ve recently realized how little time is left to study for the LSATs and how tired I get from sitting around when I have free time. These things can be dealt with via study and exercise, now it’s just a matter of sticking to it. Maybe committing this to paper (er, blog?) will help me actually commit to it…we shall see.

Angry Customer

2007-05-11T19:12:14Z

Anyone who reads this, please tell everyone you know never to order flowers or anything else through www.FTD.com.

They deliver on the wrong day, what is delivered may not be right, and have the most infuriating customer service staffing imaginable. This is all just my opinion, but one experience with them is one experience too many.